Jenn: I trimmed her butt hairs.

Me: What are fire ants? Are they born from fire?

Jenn: I don’t know but no matter how you slice it, in any context, fire ants cannot be a good thing.

Jenn: Yeah, just play the dumb card. Then they’re usually like, “oh she’s just book-smart,” and I’m like jokes, I’m not book-smart either.

Me: We ride together, we DIE together!

Jenn: (suddenly gets attacked by tree)

Me: Shit, Jenn, no not now!!

Jenn: She fell down the stairs and broke a shoe rack with her face and that’s how she got the name “Shoe Rack”.

Jenn: I always think it’s a blessing that people that are no good leave us. You don’t need that in your life.