Me: Oh, so like action movies?
Ryan: Uh, no, thrillers.
Me: Oh, so like horror movies?
Ryan: Uh, no, thrillers.
Me: It would be nice if exes could rate each other.
Dustin: Irisa, that is literally the premise of a Black Mirror episode.
Kristina: I read your blog to read myself, I’m not gonna lie.
Dilsher: It’s not a party until the white bros take their shirts off.
Lilly: Why did you offer this information if you were going to do nothing with it?
Shirley: Oh, because I do that often.
Ava: I love your office! It’s so modern and pretty.
Me: It’s so big.
Ava: It’s like, chaotic neutral.
Me: So do you know Harry Potter?
Andrea: No.
Me: (quietly horrified) Oh..
Andrea: Just kidding.
Amanda: Recruiting new kiddies. They’re so enthusiastic, I love it. Crush their spirits when they come.
Andy: I made an anagram of your name.
Me: What is it?
Andy: Anus chair. (“anis chair”)
Me: …
Andy: Feel free to chair-ish it.
Andy: Pun intended.
(On sugar babies in San Francisco)
Dustin: The real ones go after founders. After accounting for inflation, the term for gold diggers here are aptly called, “founder hunters”.
My Friends Say Things 