Sanila: Everyone’s been asking me how I feel now that I’m 24. And I’m like, impending doom. That’s what I feel.
Author Archives: Irisa
Hani: I can’t be sympathetic if you a dumb hoe. I can’t.
Iris: So there’s a member of staff there I don’t like.
Me: Is it that guy?
Iris: With the pony tail?
Me: I think we’re talking about the same guy.
Iris: Yeah. I looked him up later on the staff directory and he wrote, “I love meeting new people.” And I’m like, “no you don’t, you lying piece of shit.”
Ava: CAN YOU MAIL ME A VIAL OF YOUR “GET IT RIGHT GET IT TIGHT”?
Me: (going to Easy on Friday)
Dustin: Wooooooo leggo freshly minted accounting graduates tryna woo you in their Topman two piece suits
Me: Close the door so he can’t escape.
Iris: Kubi or dad?
Ivy: I look evil. Why do I look evil all the time? I’m not evil, am I?
Me:
Ivy: You’re supposed to say no.
Mojan: It’s bad?
Me: Try it.
Mojan: (tries it)
Mojan: (covers mouth) ……what…
Me: Spit it out!!
Mojan: No no no, spitters are quitters.
Mojan: We should tip her really well, her butt is amazing.
Me: But she was terrible, all of our food came so late.
Mojan: Probably because she spends all her time working on that butt.
Sinyi: He somehow managed to top his own shittiness. I didn’t think that was possible, I’m impressed.
My Friends Say Things 