Dustin: I feel like I matured, not because of the growth of my character, but because the fact I just ate two cinnamon rolls alone in public without giving two fucks.
Author Archives: Irisa
Lauren: It’s like, “come to Florida to chill on my yacht!” I don’t like Florida, I don’t care about your yacht.
Will: He was like, “Did you know a lot of girls in the world want a stay-at-home husband?” And I’m like, “Which world do you live in?”
Andy T: Today, while walking I saw someone’s weave was on the ground at Spadina and Bloor. Then there was this old dude who was 60+ struggling to smoke outside in the cold while listening to Destiny’s Child’s Survivor on his phone full blast.
Sinyi: Direction is more important than velocity.
Andy T: I just need a bottle of wine and release my inner hoe this weekend since it’s been way too long.
Lauren: Tell him to put up or shut up.
Livie: I just want to decapitate you and put you on my body.
Kristina: Can we…like.. talk about for a second, how I’m on the clearance section of electronics at Walmart and there are rubber bands listed? It is literally the tenth item.
Kelly M: SO like, hilarious story about wheelchairs….
Marguerite: Oh god.
My Friends Say Things 