Val: He had a fat bottle of liqueur, like a nice fat bottle, so we all went back to his place.
Tag Archives: Val
Val: What was I saying?
Me: (burps)
Val: Every time.
Val: We gotta talk about something we can’t talk about in front of her.
Me: (gasps) What???
Val: …her.
Val: (points at stain)
Stan: I’m a dirty, dirty man.
Val: I told Stan that the worst part of having nails is not being able to pick my nose or teeth.
Me, Sai and Daniela: (silence)
Mike: (giggles)
Val: …ew.
Val: (reading out loud) “…constant queefing.”
Me: That could be the name of our band.
Stan: Do you think Drake f*cks with his own music in the background?
Me and Val: (in unison) Yes.
Val: This is how you know you’re in Russia. The paramedics were judging my dad for giving me wine and saying, “This wouldn’t be happening if she were drinking vodka.”
Val: She’s genuinely bad at peeling eggs because she doesn’t give a shit.
My Friends Say Things 