Val: Ignorance is bliss, but unfortunately bliss is not in my cards.
Tag Archives: Val
Val: Well, you didn’t throw up ON me, you threw up and I was in your way.
Val: So my mom, my sister and I have a new obsession, which is Thousand Pound Sisters.
Deshi: Is it the one where the sisters sit on the couch and yell at each other?
Val: Yes.
Deshi: Being a woman is terrifying.
Me: It’s the worst thing ever.
Val: I still haven’t accepted it.
Stan: (chimes in) Me too.
Val: Shabbat shalom, bitches.
Val’s mom: Shabbat shalom.
Val: …bitches.
Deshi: I think we should go to a metal show.
Me and Val: (in unison) No.
Val: Collectively, we all make up one whole man.
Me: Again, you guys can come over, you just have to help me put on my fitted sheet and my—
Val: I’m not coming over.
Val: Every time he looks at me, he’s like wow and I’m like, I just have a job it’s not that serious.
Me: Are you afraid of flying?
Val: No. As an immigrant, I cannot afford such fears.
Val: So yes, your trip.
Deshi: Yes, we wake up at 6 to 8 am every day.
Us: (silence)
Val: I thought you wanted to have fun.
Deshi: THAT IS THE FUN, VAL.
My Friends Say Things 