Timmy: (shouts into abyss) ALEXA, STOP.
Tag Archives: Timmy
Me: Don’t be shady.
Timmy: Sorry, I was watching RuPaul’s.
(leaving a party)
Me: He was kinda weird….
Timmy: Yeah, let’s go talk about him in the car.
(making popcorn)
Timmy: I don’t want this to burn, it’s a different kind of kernel so I don’t know how long to pop it for.
Me: Well…. our twenties ARE a time for trial and error.
Me: You have trouble sleeping through the night too? Yeah, it’s happening to so many of us. I think it comes from like, living with anxiety.
Timmy: Oh….. Uh no, I think for me, it’s definitely just jet lag.
Me: Is that hoe-y of me?
Timmy: No, it’s 2018.
Timmy: That’s my excuse for everything.
(tasting red wines)
Me: Mine is medium-bodied and fruity.
Timmy: Mine is very oaky.
Me: I don’t know what that means.
Timmy: Me neither.
Timmy: EW, don’t call him Wagyu beef, he’s more like flank steak.
Timmy: And he was messaging EVERYONE.
Lil Stevie: What if I did that, Timmy?
Timmy: Yeah but I know you’re crazy.
Me: This wine is nice, what is it?
Timmy: It’s red wine.
My Friends Say Things 