Me: You eat at Chick-Fil-A? They’re against your existence!
Timmy: But it’s so good.
Tag Archives: Timmy
Timmy: I actually love turbulence.
Me: You’re a freak.
Timmy: And there was just this pile of diarrhea outside our door.
Brian: What date was this? Was I travelling?
Timmy: It was in August (shows picture on phone).
Brian: Oh. I’m thinking of a different pile of diarrhea.
Timmy: Never a good sign when the shop next to the scooter rental is a mortician.
Timmy: I had a straight friend but then she moved to LA.
Me: I think one of my greatest downfalls is my colleagues thinking I’m smarter than I actually am.
Timmy: Omg me too.
Me: Do they accept strippers over the age of 25?
Timmy: Can’t say this thought doesn’t go through my mind once a week.
Me: How is being at home?
Timmy: Bored all the time. That’s why I started a TikTok.
Timmy: Irisa, are you happy with your pillow?
Me: Is someone making you do this?
Timmy: My biggest fear is having to sneeze with rice in my mouth and then it spraying everywhere, including on my face or hair.
Timmy: Which has happened before.
My Friends Say Things 