Me: (reads church signs) Our Lady of the Assumption. That’s you.

Rui: HONESTLY.

(Independent Women playing on speakers)

Rui: This would be your anthem.

Me: It IS!!

Rui: I’m more of a “Cater 2 U” kinda girl.

Rui: You’ll find love.

Me: And you will too! You found love with me!

Rui: Okay, first of all, I like someone else.

Rui: Look at you, movin’ on up in life. The most I got from a dude was investing advice.

Rui: I mean, it’s not illegal to look ugly but give it your best shot.

Rui: Yeah, we’re just here doing like a sketchy Kijiji deal and it’s supposed to look like I’m monitoring things and umm… Hmm… Oh okay. So nobody’s pulled out a knife yet so we. Are. Oh. Kay.

Rui: The guy I’ve been curving for the past month has been like, “so what are we” and I’m like I don’t know, how do you spell that?

Rui: She got a pimple for the first time. I told her not to eat too many cake pops and the bitch did.

Rui: Why restore when you can soar?