Mom: I’m a Trader Joe bitch.
Ivy: Mom!
Tag Archives: Mom
Anthony: If he didn’t have money, would you find him attractive?
Mom: Even WITH money, I don’t find him attractive.
Me: Do you have enough room in your stomach?
Mom: I’ll just walk a bit, fart a bit and then I’ll be good.
Mom: I’ll never get people that get so torn up about relationships. Like, turn on the news, look at Syria.
Me: Durian.
Mom: NO, NO, NO. ABSOLUTELY NOT.
Mom: This isn’t just a pandemic. This is a revolution. Everything we know is changing.
Me: See how smart your daughters are?
Mom: Obviously, you came from me.
Mom: 70% of North American families have an Instant Pot! You can’t say that about having both a mom and a dad.
Me: I’m becoming YOU!
Mom: (nods solemnly)
Mom: They probably forgot about you. HAHAHAHA.
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