Mojan: (sees my Instagram Story) This looks like an ad for lupus medication.
Tag Archives: Mojan
Mojan: Did he raise his voice slightly when speaking to customer service? That turns me on.
Me: Are we old?
Mojan: Ummmm… Our eggs are definitely dying.
(On Shake Shack vs. In-and-Out)
Mojan: Who the FUCK is voting for Shake Shack? I’m going to lose my mind. THIS is why the ice caps are melting.
Me: I don’t like to define it as a relationship. In my mind, it’s more accurately depicted as a severe lapse in judgement on my behalf.
Mojan: A relation-SHIT!
Mojan: I’m pro-ghosting. Like, don’t tell me why I suck because you’re wrong. Just ghost me.
(On the Museum of Illusions)
Me: Omg! Was it worth going?
Mojan: It was not!!! The only illusion was how they got me to buy a ticket.
Mojan: He was the WORST professor! He was like 105 and during our 30% presentation, he fell asleep. We took a picture of him while we were presenting.
Mojan: (shows me a photo of a man)
Me: (looks up and frowns)
Mojan: Come ON! He’s AT LEAST a 7!
Mojan: You can’t call it big d*ck energy when you can see his d*ck and it’s big.
My Friends Say Things 