Lilly: Most of our fantasies involving winning the lottery and not having to back to work… Getting sick and not having to go back to work… Or getting seriously injured and getting worker’s comp and not having to go back to work.
Me: So do you guys like your job?
Shirley: Love it.
Me: Now for me it’s like, are you crazy? No? Okay, let’s go on a date.
Lilly: Ah, yes. Life has a way of beating you down like that.
Lilly: Why did you offer this information if you were going to do nothing with it?
Shirley: Oh, because I do that often.
Lilly: How did he do it? Is it because he’s a white man?
Me and Shirley: Mmhmmmm.
Me: Well, is she book smart?
Lilly: Ummmmm….. She’s not book dumb.
(on Kristin Cavallari’s shitty jewelry line)
Lilly: You’re going to be eating your spam and your ear is going to fall off and you’re gonna be like, “shit.”
Lilly: One time, Shirley and I went grocery shopping and we came back with only cake.
My Friends Say Things 