Me: Why does your computer hate you so much?

Kristina: Maybe it doesn’t want me to work. And I get it, I don’t want to work either. But here we are.

Me: You alright?

Kristina: Nope, but we’ll see.

Kristina: It won’t let me log out. I mean, I understand not letting me log in. But like, you should WANT me out.

Kristina: I’m going to throw this computer into the trash can.

Kristina: Now it won’t let me log in.

Kristina: I’m going to pop off.

Kristina: You don’t hear anyone that isn’t fresh from China say “aiyah” except for you. I just want to say, I love it, don’t ever change, thank you so much.

Kristina: Listen, I really want Yeezy’s. That’s the only reason I signed up for the mailing list.

Kristina: I’m just gonna be a hunk of beef today.

Me: That’s okay, I love beef.

Kristina: Yay.

Me: Kristina, never leave me.

Kristina: I won’t.

Me: I need to keep a part of you with me when I go.

Kristina: Oh, you will. This hate extends.

Kristina: I’m done emotionally for today. This fruit fly has put me over the edge.

Kristina: I’m being super mean and passive-aggressive. So it’s still profesh, but it’s also like, “If you don’t do this, I’m gonna cut your face off.”

Kristina: Fake work is my favourite kind of work.