Kevin: So recently, I discovered that if I mix my vanilla whey protein with juice, it tastes like a creamsicle.

Ivy: That is literally my worst nightmare.

Me: I almost choked and shat myself at the same time.

Me: (forgets to clip one fingernail)

Kevin: Well, if it makes you feel any better, some people intentionally leave one fingernail long for—

Me: Oh yeah, cocaine and boogers!

Kevin:

Me:

Kevin: …boxes…