Kelly: You can’t fix loss.

Kelly M: I texted Hannah and I was like, “omg, I think I’m dying.” And then she was like, “omg, this works perfectly because I was gonna have breakfast and I don’t have turkey bacon, so now I can use your’s!”

Kelly: Don’t go with Telus. Never go with Telus. They’re terrible, they’re awful people. Their families are awful. You just know.

Kelly: One time at the grocery store I worked at, some guy came up to me and asked, “where’s hoo-mus?”. And so I said, “you mean the hummus?” and he said, “no, the hoo-mus.” And so yeah, of course I am the one in the wrong in this situation! Let me direct you to the HOO-MUS, sir!