Kaili: I was just thinking, if I was buying a house and the apocalypse happens, I’m going to be so upset. I’m never going to financially recover from this, like wow.

Me: I remember whenever I would slink back to the apps and see the same guys across different platforms and years. I really wonder about them.

Kaili: I wonder if they wonder the same thing about us or if they ever got off.

Me: The abyss stares back…

Me: Why are you talking about SEO in a dating app?

Kaili: You see my predicament.

Kaili: Bill’s not scary, he’s just an idiot.

Kaili: Davenport? NO! No! No! I guess that’s right.

Kaili: Oh man, that wind is doing that man’s hair dirty up top.

Man: (turns around and stares at us)

Kaili: …I forgot the windows were down.

Kaili: Due to personal and political reasons, I will now be looking to become a trad wife.

Kaili: She pulled the capricorn card!

Me: Jesus was a capricorn!

Kaili: I thought he was a carpenter!

Me: There’s a lot of dog poop around.

Kaili: Hopefully dog…