Me: I’m like an introverted extravert.

Michael: So you’re an ambivert. That’s like the bisexuals of sociability.

Me: The subway is leaving!! (runs)

Me: THE SUBWAY LEFT!

Michael: You Toronto people are so cute with your three minute wait.

Me: I love that the tie goes with the stripes in your suit, which go with the colours in your pocket square.

Michael: Thanks, I just got it ‘cause it was the gayest thing they had.

(Music plays at a house party)

Michael: Oh SHIT, this is Ave Maria!! (begins to sing operatically)