Me: I just feel bad for your suitcase when I roll over this thing.
Ivy: It’s fine, it’s Samsonite.
Me: I know, you keep sayi—
Ivy: It’s fine, it’s Samsonite.
Tag Archives: Ivy
Ivy: Isn’t Chef’s Table like, one guy cooking food for a bunch of countries and he messes it up?
Me: What? No!
Ivy: That’s what I heard.
Ivy: We got the sangria and it tasted like rotting fruit. We had to call the manager over and he was like, “Yeah, that’s just how it tastes.” And you know what he did? He gave us coupons for free chicken. Like, we’re vegetarians, you dick.
Me: Omg, I just got an ad for wallets…
Ivy: Yeah, I started getting ads for this disease which I don’t have, nor am I at risk for getting it.
Me: Maybe we should just start saying random things.
Ivy: (speaks into phone) BULLDOZERS.
Me: (speaks into phone) CONSTRUCTION!
Ivy: (speaks into phone) I should really harvest all this wheat!
Me: (speaks into phone) SAUDI ARABIA OIL MONEY.
Both: (chuckles)
Me: Watch me get arrested…
Ivy: That bitch chose to meet at Nando’s. My friend is a vegetarian. I’m a vegetarian. The bitch HERSELF is vegetarian.
Ivy: I would have been like naw, let the house be cold, I’m not going to that housewarming.
Ivy: You smell like the bus. Welcome home.
Ivy: Yeah, I’m going to my friend’s birthday thing tonight.
Me: WOW you’re socializing!
Ivy: SHUT UP, I’m not happy about it.
Me:
Ivy: Shut up.
Ivy: A girl just brought a pizza as her carry-on.
My Friends Say Things 