Mike: I would love any place with good company.

Mike: Except jail.

Me: Oh my god. Who hurt you?

Mike: Break out the wine, baby girl.

Me: Why are you liking your own messages?

Mike: Because I’m funny. And if no one’s gonna validate me, I’ll validate myself.

Mike: Queens misses you.

Me: AW! Toronto misses you as well.

Mike: Thanks, I didn’t wanna ask if y’all missed me. Because I don’t wanna seem needy.

Mike: Just kidding, I love you. (gives me middle finger)

Mike: When you’re in New York, I gotta take you. It’s super shitty.