Timmy: My biggest fear is having to sneeze with rice in my mouth and then it spraying everywhere, including on my face or hair.

Timmy: Which has happened before.

(tasting red wines)

Me: Mine is medium-bodied and fruity.

Timmy: Mine is very oaky.

Me: I don’t know what that means.

Timmy: Me neither.

Timmy: Wait so what is this about exfoliating? Do I not just grab a body shaver and just shave it off?