Ivy: Just found a piece of feta cheese.

Me: (turns)

Ivy: On my pants.

Me: (looks down)

Ivy: And ate it.

Me: Omg, I just got an ad for wallets…

Ivy: Yeah, I started getting ads for this disease which I don’t have, nor am I at risk for getting it.

Me: Maybe we should just start saying random things.

Ivy: (speaks into phone) BULLDOZERS.

Me: (speaks into phone) CONSTRUCTION!

Ivy: (speaks into phone) I should really harvest all this wheat!

Me: (speaks into phone) SAUDI ARABIA OIL MONEY.

Both: (chuckles)

Me: Watch me get arrested…

Ivy: I’ve had deja vu about this. I’m supposed to tell you not to do this. You’ll come home crying.