Me: It would be nice if exes could rate each other.

Dustin: Irisa, that is literally the premise of a Black Mirror episode.

(On sugar babies in San Francisco)

Dustin: The real ones go after founders. After accounting for inflation, the term for gold diggers here are aptly called, “founder hunters”.

Dustin: It’s 2018, shame is last decade’s fashion.

Dustin: Yeah, Japango is love. Turns out, love is expensive.

Dustin: Wow that just made it sound like I was talking about a prostitute but

Dustin: You know what I mean.

Dustin: Would you be open to the idea of catfishing desperate tech boys for crypto and flipping the money right after you pocket it?

Dustin: Because not gonna lie. One of the more plausible money schemes.

Dustin: The only reason somebody would commit to him is to fast track becoming a Tibetan monk. I literally cannot derive another cause.

Dustin: When I’m in the dumps and get really tired, I just tell myself this will make the autobiography a better read.

Dustin: So you’re just writing the good parts of the book right now, don’t even stress.

Dustin: In grade six, I tried to grow out my nails so I could use them as weapons.