Me: I just have to think of a way to frame it nicely.

Dustin: “Aite I ain’t tryna be no snitch right. But these two clowns be bitches man, what da fuk.”

Me: The first thing I asked was, “Do y’all have blankets I can wrap myself in?”

Dustin: The Lifetime Channel presents: A Mood.

Dustin: Say what you will about uWaterloo, but it does teach you the concept of defeat pretty quickly.

Dustin: Believe in yourself like Soulja Boy believes in himself.

Dustin: Official new life motto.

(sees video of a student residence in Waterloo)

Dustin: If I was a campus tour guide, I’d totally be transparent and and just be like, “Here is the birthplace of my feeling of inadequacy. With hard work and lots of tuition, it could be yours too!”

Dustin: Omg, I’m never drinking with Brits again. I don’t know how one bottle of wine turned into like, six.

Dustin: Hmm, I don’t know if I can give you the correct answer.

Dustin: I trust that you’ll arrive there on your own because you know what you want.

Dustin: I think the best advice is, don’t be afraid to go for things because of past experiences or circumstances. They’re not the template for our futures.

Dustin: When a manager offers to buy eight rounds of shots on a Wednesday… say no to that shit.

Dustin: Omg what happened with that anyway?

Me: I threatened him with law enforcement and he stopped.

Dustin: On one hand, wow white man really responded appropriately to legal action threat.

Dustin: On the other hand, wow that bar is just so so low.

Dustin: I can’t believe I’m even impressed by this.

Dustin: Satisfaction of calendar blocks fitting into place with no conflict is the adulthood Tetris.