Dustin: Alcohol helps you survive hypothermia?? Is this a bad and potentially dangerous takeaway??

Me: (smiles)

Dustin: I’m glad you don’t have real herpes.

Dustin: The thing with open marriages is that when one person proposes it, the other person is never like, “That’s a great idea!”

Dustin: I got an electric scooter, thereby completing my transformation as a tech bro.

Dustin: I am about the quesadilla life now. It’s like the low fat ice cream of Mexican food.

Dustin: You know when you, like, sprain your ankle and the swelling comes down, it just feels like… droopy for a bit?

Dustin: Like it’s just held onto the stub of your leg like with a few strings?

Me: Dude. No.

Dustin: The two constants in life I can count on: the Warriors being good and the Knicks being trash.

Dustin: Why even chase girls for heartbreak when you can be a Toronto sports fan?

Me: Saddle up, kiddos. Your girl’s going for a ride. Yeehaw seesaw.

Dustin: I love the spirit but that sounds like those last words before you actually go to jail.