Me: Maybe some people have mastered the art of eating where they shit, but very cleanly.
Deshi: Why am I thinking of the pizza in your bathroom?
Me: I can see how you arrived at that conclusion.
Tag Archives: Deshi
Deshi: Being a woman is terrifying.
Me: It’s the worst thing ever.
Val: I still haven’t accepted it.
Stan: (chimes in) Me too.
Deshi: I think we should go to a metal show.
Me and Val: (in unison) No.
Val: Collectively, we all make up one whole man.
Me: Oh, you get all the good ubers, mine don’t like me because I boss them around a lot.
Deshi: Oh… I barfed a lot in mine.
Deshi: We got a thermometer from AliExpress and it said he was 41 degrees, so we called 911 and they came and were like, yeah you gotta get a better thermometer.
Me: Oh, how was the dinner?
Deshi: They were all rich. So it was like, “hahaha, golf, hahaha!”
Deshi: Anyway, I asked him if he would be okay with waking up at 4 am on some days.
Me: Do you want your relationship, yes or no?
Val: So yes, your trip.
Deshi: Yes, we wake up at 6 to 8 am every day.
Us: (silence)
Val: I thought you wanted to have fun.
Deshi: THAT IS THE FUN, VAL.
Deshi: Boys complain a lot and do nothing.
Deshi: I’m not basing this on fact, just on comedy specials.
My Friends Say Things 