Daryl: If I ever reincarnate into a bitchy white girl, find me and murder me.
Me: Fine, fine.
Tag Archives: Daryl
Me: I didn’t know you had a desk plant. That’s adorable and endearing. Good for you. Not bad for a kid whose dream job was once warlord.
Daryl: Hey. That’s still my dream job.
Daryl: When the office has deactivated your pass amidst COVID-19, but you need to water your desk plant and now you’re scared it’s going to die. RIP Bulba.
Daryl: You could have way worse problems.
Me: Yeah, like famine.
Daryl: That’s not where I was going but yeah sure, famine!
Me: But see, here’s the thing. I think the answer will reveal itself in due time.
Daryl: (stares)
Daryl: What the fuck does that mean?
Me: (shows photo and laughs) Look at how high his socks are.
Daryl: I…. I-I wear…. (scoffs) …fuck you.
Daryl: Ya boy’s out here getting Lasik today. Gonna send updates throughout the day documenting the process. If you don’t want updates please reply saying so, thanks.
Daryl: So you’re betting that your firstborn child will be a female.
Me: Yes.
Daryl: And I’m betting it will be male.
Me: Yes.
Daryl: What are we betting?
Me: My firstborn child.
Daryl: So you’re telling me you DON’T want to meet someone, get married and get divorced? That’s the dream.
Daryl: Why wouldn’t you want a boy?
Me: I don’t want to bring another man into this world. They f*ck shit up.
Daryl: That’s what we do.
My Friends Say Things 