Cris: I tried applying Velour lashes on my own.

Me: OOH, THEY LOOK SO GOOD! How do you feel?

Cris: They feel like sun visors for my eyes.

Me: Everyone wants to do hot pot in this weather.

Cris: I am everyone.

Cris: Like, what kind of ramen would have a hard-boiled egg? It should be soft-boiled. Like sorry, I was raised better.

(on soft-boiled eggs)

Cris: No, I get it. You and I, we’re the same.

Me: Boujee-ass bitch?

Cris: Ya.

Me: (starts dancing)

Cris: Okay, that’s embarrassing.

Cris: Stop, clients are going to walk by.

Cris: Go, just go.

Cris: That movie was HEAVY.

Me: So like a croissant with butter in it?

Cris: No, like a full-on loaf of bread. Like a pound cake.

Cris: There’s an eager texter, a normal texter and a bad texter.

Me: What’s a normal texter?

Cris: You just reply at some point.