Andy T: I ain’t no hoe that spends time in a kitchen ’cause that ain’t me.

Me: Want me to kill him?

Andy T: He’s in NYC!

Me: What!

Andy T: He’s an investment banker.

Me: So he’s already killing himself.

Both: AYYYYYYYY!!! (cheers)

Andy T: Today, while walking I saw someone’s weave was on the ground at Spadina and Bloor. Then there was this old dude who was 60+ struggling to smoke outside in the cold while listening to Destiny’s Child’s Survivor on his phone full blast.

Andy T: I just need a bottle of wine and release my inner hoe this weekend since it’s been way too long.