Andy: Wait, he’s in the ocean right now? How is he still sending me memes?

Andy: Maybe no plan is the best plan.

Andy: Can you be my stock photo momager? Like Kris Jenner?

Me: Yes.

Andy: (sees baked bean spring roll) That’s disgusting. Jesus left the chat.

Andy: (glances over)

Me: Were you checking out his butt?

Andy: No!

Me:

Andy:

Me:

Andy: Okay, fine, yes!!!

Andy: This bitch. He says you’re the female version of me.

Me: Just out of genuine curiosity, why do you still talk to her?

Andy: I talked to her recently cause I was “curious.” A curious cat extracting her wack perspectives.

Andy: I’m sad but I’m horny but I should be happy?? What is this mix of emotions??

Andy: What was your old wallet before?

Me: This. (pulls out old coin purse)

Andy: (revolted) EW, YOU WERE USING THAT?