Me: And I was like, listen, I’m a mess.
Ally: As we all are.
Tag Archives: Ally
Don: The tickets were $250 each!
Me and Ally: (gasps)
Don: USD.
Me and Ally: (gasps)
Don: Wait, it doesn’t end there. There was a $75 service fee.
Me and Ally: (opens mouths to gasp)
Don: EACH.
Ally: (covers mouth)
Me: (rolls up sleeve and thrusts arm in middle of table to display goosebumps)
Don and Ally: (howls loudly in horror)
Ally: And she said that I came in with my over-the-knee boots and cat sweater like I mean business!
Ally: Why would they do that to themselves? No one is too good for free food.
Ally: Maybe I’m just too much of a skeptic.
Me: But you read tarot cards!!
Ally: I know.
Ally: I got mansplained to.
Me: Is it by—
Ally: No, he’s too dumb to mansplain anything.
Ally: I have SO MUCH TEA.
Justin: SPILL THE TEA!
Me: Are you drowning in the tea?
Ally: I’M DROWNING IN THE TEA!
Me: It’s okay, it’s not forever.
Ally: Nothing is.
Ally: And I was watching his Snap Stories.
Me: And?
Ally: And we all make our decisions. Some better than others.
Ally: So I was like, “Are you guys back together?” And she was like, “No, we’re going to be roommates.”
Me: That sounds like the worst idea in the world.
Ally: I know. I KNOW.
My Friends Say Things 