Ally: We’ve all been victimized by the girlboss era, in some way shape or form.
Tag Archives: Ally
Me: I feel a little old, I’m not gonna lie.
Ally: But you don’t look it, so it’s fine.
Ally: And he said dinner was on him and well, it should’ve been anyway.
(On men buying us drinks)
Me: But also, I feel bad. Wait, no—
Ally and Me: (in unison) the patriarchy.
Ally: See, the border closing… That’s probably the worst thing. How are we going to get the white truffle chips from Trader Joe’s?
Ally: Okay, so I did something stupid.
Me: Did you take a shit and clog the toilet?
Ally: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!
Ally: But that IS something I would do.
Justin: Yo, those grapes f*cked my throat.
All: Uhhhhh ohhhh….
Justin: They were just so sweet.
Cris: Think about what you just said.
Me: What! What were you all thinking? I was thinking coronavirus.
Ally: Props to JT for warning us against speaking “moistly.”
Me: I love calamari.
Don: I can tell. They look like onion rings.
Ally: They’re onion rings of the sea.
Ally: Oh my god, yessss bbg, get that bread.
Ally: And by bread, I mean the enthusiasm for work to better the human condition as a whole.
My Friends Say Things 